YSunday, April 30, 2006
1 may, 2.54pm
i dun wanna hear, i dun wanna knw
pls dun say u're sorry
ive hear it all before
fuck. juz stop it. stop treating me lyk tt. dun push me to the edge i tell u. hw did everything changed so suddenly? it really hurts. why isit alwaz lyk tt? when something beautiful is given to me, i treasure it with my life, den somebody has to take tt away fr me. put in thru pain all over again. why?! why?!!!! some1 juz tell me why. am i so insignificant? am i so unimportant? is loving me so diff? give me all the hope. den take it all back suddenly. tts nt wat its suppose to be. maybe i am really tt insignificant, tt unimportant. maybe nobody treasures me at all. everything's been a lie isnt it? isnt tt wats my life is, and will alwaz be?
i'll try nt to cry. but i knw i cant.
can somebody take me away? take me far away from here. far away from all the pain?
spoken.
30 april, 9.33pm
days seem strange
met up with the girls on fri. so funnn!!! hahhaa.. and the latest topic nw? jialing n deb gt drunk. aahhaa.. every1 wanna witness it themselves. poor girls. haha.. gonna meet the girls again this coming week to celeb woo n wen's bday. so broke. grandma nicely hint tt she wants a new gold earring yest. hahah.. and ive gt mommy to pay for it. all i gt to do? hunt for a nice gold earring. oh!! and it got to fit her criteria. haha.. yea.. grandma's pretty fussy abt it.
went to see a doc yest. girl's prob. hahaa.. doc did a scanning for me. i saw my egg!!!! hahaha.. so small.. so cute. hahaha.. i saw my womb too. its empty. no baby inside [DUH!!!]. hahaha.. doc says watever im suffering fr is due to hormonal inbalance due to tension. she said it could also be caused by something which upset me alot. *looks at wen* she'll knw wat im want to say
its nt suppose to be this way.
spoken.
YMonday, April 24, 2006
24 april, 6.57pm
1st day of sch didnt start off well. yea. bloody hell. i was trying to stone on 76. den!!! this guy sitting behind me!!! dunno he hyper active of wat. keep moving and i think he has extremely long legs or something. he move 1 time, my chair jerks 1 time. fuck! and he kept moving!!!! annoying piece of shit. roar. ok. nvm. when i bored 8, this uncle who juz finished smoking sat beside me!!! rah!!!! and he stink lyk shit? wat cigrattes did he smoke? he shud change the brand of cigs man..... he's stinks lyk mad!!!! or maybe its juz him + smoke = stinky! yea.. obviously, i was holding my breath the whole time.
oh!! guess wat. i dunno if i saw meng meng. thr was this person on 8 who looks EXACTLY lyk her. but a lil diff. i think its the hair. hahaa... but wats she doing in tp? [she dropped off at tp] i thot she's suppose to become a teacher? oh well.
oh. den i gt lyk the dumbest lecturers for today. cept for lai wan. i wonder hw am i gonna pass this sem... *faint* the rest of the day went pretty well thou. phew. met bunchies for lunch. excluding jel's wife. haha.. she off her damn phone. so.. nt my fault ok!!! nt tt we didnt ask her to join us. heh. oh!! and evil bro had lessons. so he wasnt with us too. den, the rest left for lessons leaving prissay n me. bao bao went home. yea.. chat. goodness.. so many things happened in a day. and somebody proved to me tt most guys really do suck. its alwaz them making the girls cry lyk shit. why?! roar. met twangie too!!! hahhaa... 3 twangs act. gf, fatty, and daryl. yea.. bumped into daryl in sch n i met de other 2 aft sch. heh.. fatty paid for our cab fare to wen's place. whheeeeee..
spoken.
YSaturday, April 22, 2006
22 april, 9.39pm
so maple's weird these days. haha... or shud i say its the players who are weird. last nite, baby n i faced this weird guy who keeps claiming to be my bf [when baby's char is juz right beside me]. it was funny watching the conv between baby n tt guy. haha.. and i really do love the fact tt he's protecting me even thou its juz a game. tts sweet. =))
and today? this female char came to me and told me pretty girl and sexy huh?. weird bitch. haha.. is she trying to be my new lesbian partner? oh. sorry girl. im taken by 2 girls and a guy. heh.
spoken.
YFriday, April 21, 2006
22 april, 1am
i love my gf. haha.. met her on thurs and on fri. hee... yes. we are rubbish and very hungry people. haa.. and the ice cream man. TWANG!! IM NT PLAYING WITH HIM AGAIN!! hahaa... bloody hell.. ice cream uncle try to cheat my feelings. gimme empty cone and dun let me take my ice cream. bleah. haha.. but its ok. he gave us ultra huge scoops of ice cream in de end. yea.. we couldnt eat the ice cream in time. too much lah!! kept melting. haha.. but it was yummy!!! i want more!!!! =))
im nt looking fwd to 1st day of sch. separated fr my bunchies. =(( why?!?!!! why tp separated me fr gf no2. rah!!!! im gonna miss my girl so bad. =((((( and evil bro. and the eunch!!! hahaha... yea. eunch's mich. he's gay. he's bf? adrain. haa. all gt separated fr me!!! fuck. and who am i in the same class with? bao bao. *faint* im sure. thr'll be lots of conflict to come. its funny hw im alwaz irritated with bao bao but we can remain frenz. nt gd frenz. but juz frenz. still. its amazing. rah!!! 1st lesson of 1st day of sch? database. *faint* too early!! i cant think!!! i need more slp... *pouts*
hmm.. am looking fwd to tue thou. hee... i gt to see honey for.. erm.. wait let me count. at least 2 hrs. if he's sending me to sch and sending me home and spending the breaks with me. tt'll be 6hrs!!! ooo... ok. so i may feel a lil weird at 1st being in the same class as hon. but hey. im sure i'll gt used to it. hee.. we were nv in the same class. so u see. nv say nv. haaa.. ok.. i wanna go to bed nw. nite people!
spoken.
YWednesday, April 19, 2006
19 april, 4.32pm
my room smells of hair dye. haa. im dying my hair. DUH! am waiting for the colour to go onto my hair. yea. jet black. MAH FAVE! hahahaa... yea.. den when i start getting allowance again, am gonna go to adrain's and bleach some parts of my bangs red. wheee!! cant wait. hahaha
chatting with mr. chua at the moment. bloody hell... dun believe im a gd girl. eh!!!!! I AM OK!!!! u naughty boy. haaaaa....
spoken.
YFriday, April 14, 2006
14 april, 11.16pm
im so pissed. i seriously feel lyk i have no family. yea. an orphan. tts exactly hw i feel. plz. my parents do nt treat me lyk their child. haa. hw u guys alwaz say u all love me more den anything else blah blah blah. its all bull. plz. stop lying to me. stop lying to urself. my whole life, has been 1 big fucking lie. do u have any idea hw cheated i feel? who knws? maybe im a kid whom u guys picked up on the street. yea. treat me lyk dirt. funny hw i still love u guys as my parents. no.. tts bad. it cos me more pain. everytime i look at hw other's family are so happy together, i feel so fucking upset. no. im nt trying to be emo here. u used to use money to buy me back. fuck. it doesnt work. and nw, u guys made things worst. u cut off my allowance when thr's no sch blah blah. yea.. lyk wat cheryl.q says. it seems lyk u're living on ur own. able to move out soon. i think so too. fuck. i dun wanna go on.
mom. stop pretending lyk nthing happened. i cant lie to myself anymore. so, plz stop lying to urself and to me too.
spoken.
YThursday, April 13, 2006
13 april, 8.38pm
juz gt home fr dinner. before tt, we went to adrian's to gt a haircut. ok. so its juz me who had the hair cut. wen acc me. haa.. and before before this, hahaa.. i met hon. yea! heee...
ok.. so i realised whenever i go to jean yip for a haircut, i end up with bangs [a.k.a fringe]. heh. this time too.. adrian gave me bangs. yea.. my gosh. my head feels so light!!! hahaha.. yea.. adrain chopped off most of the thickness.. he says "u gt alot of mao". haha.. eh!! nt mao ok. im human leh.. hahaha... most prob.. im gonna go back to adrian for my bleach job. heh.. but i gotta gt 22 bucks 1st. broke. cant do both dye n bleach at adrian's. i dun have 44 bucks. roar.. so.. i'll juz go for my bleaching.. i can dye the rest of my head on my own. aftall.. its juz black. bleaching more troublesome. heh
okok... im gonna go back to watching american idol nw. ciaoz! oh yar.. gimme comments for my new hairstyle!!! haha
spoken.
YWednesday, April 12, 2006
13 april, 12.12am
i still rmb the time we sorta plan our big day. u promise to hold it at the beach juz lyk hw i lyk it. u promised to make the event small. u promised to have buffet instead. u promised every other thing.
tell me if this day will ever come.
u knw i'll love u alwaz
spoken.
YWednesday, April 05, 2006
6 april, 1.09pm
wen's chalet was fun. till they gt drunk. hahaa.. we had to take care of them. i have to say. the sight of them being so drunk was hilarious. esp jossy. haha.. my gosh! all the things she said.
re-enactment -
jossy: *pukes*
jossy: eeeeee... my puke's so disgusting
jossy: *pukes more*
jossy: i think i ate too much satay. all my satay
jossy: i puke so i much i think i lost 2kg
joyce: *looks at jossy*
jossy: look wat look? i see u for 5 yrs already! i dun wanna see u anymore!
jas: *speaks to jossy*
jossy: tok to me for wat? i tok to u for 5 yrs already! i dun wanna tok to u!!
jossy: *stomach growls*
jossy: i want to eat nachos. i want the cheese too!!
joyce: *takes away the nachos on the table*
jossy: whr's my nachos?!!!! gimme back my nachos!!!!!
joyce: *gives her twisties [cheese flavour]
jossy: i dun want twisties!!! gt cheese!!!
joyce: *wonders: i thot u wanted cheese too?*
u gotta be thr to see hw she tok. oh!! and the part. whr she say she's romantic. she can make out while saying a poem. hahaha... gosh...
spoken.
YMonday, April 03, 2006
3 april, 10.34pm
im so lazy to pack my bag for tml.. hahaa.. in de end.. im on the phone. haha.. and hecty's playing wonderwall by oasis on his guitar. I LOVE TT SONG!! *jumps* ok. i cant hear him sing it. his guitar is so freaking loud. haha.. its ok. i rather hear his guitar. ive alwaz wanted hon to act hear wonderwall. my gosh. its almost hw i feel. yea. hon's my wonderwall. once he's by my side, everything will be fine again. =)
do anybody have the song torn by natalie imbruglia and photo by ryan.c???? send them to me!! i cant find these songs. and i love those 2 songs so much.
ok. desperate hsewives is back on again
spoken.
YSunday, April 02, 2006
2 april, 8.35pm
roar. im sooooo fucking pissed. my gosh. godma's turning diane into my clone. fuck. i hate it soooo much. cant she see diane has her own sense of lyking n style? diane's erm.. so pop. im soo.. not pop. fuck. diane loves to dance n nw u want her to learn drums? fuck. its nt even her passion. ITS MINE!!!! argh.. even mommy's pissed with her nw. watever. im nt gonna let her make diane be me. no way.
spoken.